So I am supposed to teach the students in front of me, in my physical room, for six hours in my mask and behind a screen, and also, concurrently, on Zoom, and also the ones in other time zones and also make an asynchronous assignment that differentiates while upgrading my bitmoji page to reflect happy, smiling, not-stressed-out-at-all teachers. And also still take care of myself and my family—make arrangements for my own school-age children—and stay healthy and safe. Oh, wait, and also catch students up on what they missed in the spring, while I am at it. And also—you know, just in case, prepare to go fully remote if needed, just to be sure. And for gosh sake—remember to take care of myself!

No problem. I got this, right?

Truth be told, we are hearing that overall the kids are doing great. For the most part, they are following new Covid guidelines and are getting with the program. The problem is us adults. This is so much harder and complicated and emotional than any of us ever thought it would be. This is not “just like” last year, this is a whole new animal. A totally new prep, even if I taught this subject and this grade a million times before. And there is loss. Loss of what was and the ease of the habits and rituals that made our jobs manageable.

I have only one way of understanding this. In the story of Noah, when the flood is over, the Torah describes Noah in a very lonely way. “Vayisha’er ach Noach”—loosely translated, it means that Noach remained alone, or more accurately, he remained less. The Midrash says that when feeding the lion, Noach was running late (you can only imagine how difficult it was feeding and caring for all the animals) and the lion took a bite out of him, so he was a bit less, meaning, he lost a piece of himself, literally, while caring for the world afloat in the ark. 

This image reflects the toll that comes from caring for others for so long, and really highlights the loneliness of it all. Yes, Noah had help from his family, he was not truly alone, but this was unfamiliar work, done in fearful times, and alone in so many ways nevertheless. He ends this period with less of himself somehow, a bite was taken, and he is missing some of what made him whole.

I think of the caretakers, especially now, those brave people who have been leading and nurturing us during the past nine months. They must feel loneliness unlike others do. They must feel the loss in a profoundly different way. Among these brave souls are our teachers. How can they not be impacted by all this loss? And how can we not acknowledge their devotion to our children in sustaining and loving and teaching them throughout this time, even as they, too, have suffered? 

The image works, especially, because of the change of setting. Noah was expected to feed and care for the animals and people in his charge, but the setting was all wacky and strange. Imagine how weird it was once the rain stopped and they were waiting for the land to dry enough so we could get out again? It certainly feels a lot like the aftereffects of the flood today, when we expect our teachers to keep teaching and we keep piling on expectations and needs, without removing responsibilities. We are all suffering from the ach, the lack. And as teachers keep hearing “Can you just...” and “Just do this…,” we just need to admit the truth: This is hard. So hard. And the teachers are missing a piece.

So where is the hope?

The great thing about the Jewish calendar is that it’s always right on time with the answer. The holiday of Sukkot has a weird commandment: we are told to be happy in a strange way. “Ve-samachta bechagekha, ve-hayita ach sameach”: we are told to be happy even though we are ach, lacking or missing. The Torah acknowledges that life is so complicated, and we can hold two very opposite feelings at the same time. Yes, we are less, we are wounded and there has been a price to pay to have been a leader at this time, whether a leader of an entire school or a leader of a small class, but the hope is that we can leverage that loss into joy. The Torah advises us not to sweep that pain under the rug, but instead to bring it with us, to dance with it, rejoice with it and to embrace it, because that is part and parcel of our story.

So where do we go from here? How do we support our teachers in the impossible? The secret is to create pockets of simchah, joy, while holding on to the ach, loss.

Here are 5 tips.

1. Acknowledge the paradigm shift.
   This is not your regular class. This is similar and familiar but very much not the same. When we admit that it is new, we make it socially acceptable to ask for help, to be open to learning and to grow. By making sure that the school community knows that the core of who we are is the same, our values and care, but that the ways we deliver education and care will be different, we manage expectations and support our teachers in giving themselves space to learn and grow.
2. Get clear on what matters in your school and community, make it a value and then follow up.
   When schools chose schedules for the fall, they had to first get really clear on the values of the school. Everything comes from there. When the values are clear and articulated, then decisions make more sense and are more easily accepted. Even when I do not agree with a decision, I can at least understand the why behind it. Making sure that decisions are based on values and being transparent about them, however that plays out, is key to feeling comfortable in a new reality.
3. Model the care you want. Create multiple access points for support.
   Just as we do not all like the same foods and gifts, we need different kinds of support. One size does not fit all. While many teachers mourn the loss of the teachers room hangout and crave that social connection and support, others miss the private one-on-one check-in or call. Parents, administrators, board members and even students: check in on your teachers. show us that you care about us. It need not be a gift (though that is fun) or a thank-you note (also a treasure) or a video montage (amazing!) but something, every so often goes farther than you can imagine.
4. Get curious. Ask.
   Just like Moshe Rabeinu wondered at the burning bush, the sign of a great leader is curiosity. Ask and wonder! Ask your teachers what they need and what they want. And here is the catch: listen. Listen well, and listen till they finish talking and then sit a bit. Hear them.
5. Use precise language. Call things what they are. Not what they are not.
   Shout out to Jenny Horowitz at SAR for this brilliant insight: call things what they are and be precise. If recess looks exactly the same as it used to, then please call it recess. I know what that looks like and I know what to expect. But if it looks different, then find a new word to indicate that so we all know to change our expectations. If there are different rules for mask wearing for different activities, then help your students and teachers wrap their heads around that by being very clear about what things are and what they are not.

There are many wise people out there with great tips and lists just like this. The most important thing is to support our teachers now. And it is up to all of us, the administrators, the parents, the board members, the students and yes, teachers themselves supporting each other. Because they have been our Noah for so long, they have got to feel the ach, and we must make sure they are not alone or ignored. We must be with them and hold their hands as they helped us, and rejoice with them, like the Torah says, to be happy even though—ach.

______________________________________________

Tips from two school counselors:

A Lower School counselor says:

1. First I tell myself there is only so much I can do, because this particular dynamic was overwhelming me.
2. I validate, empathize and praise them for what is going well.
3. I encourage them to communicate these concerns directly, sometimes going as far as to help them write an email or choose language I know a certain administrator can hear best.
4. If they are uncomfortable managing up, I ask what they are comfortable with me communicating up.
5. We talk about how it makes them feel to have resentment, fear or frustration about this, and what is something they wish they could do instead. Surprisingly, this has been helpful for a few teachers. A few teachers have chosen to keep a micro-success journal; a few have identified a statement to tell themselves. Some have chosen to work on reframing, and others have chosen to identify one person to vent to and say all the negative things they are thinking. 
6. I teach them grounding skills to use in the moment. They love this too.
7. I ask each teacher to identify how they feel most appreciated. I tell them about the five love languages; most of them identify gifts and words of affirmation. I then try to bring them a gift and write a letter about what I appreciate them doing.

A High School counselor says:
Some of the things I’ve been doing with teachers are:

1. Individual check-ins with teachers, giving them opportunities to share their own COVID-19 experience
2. Virtual teacher room where they can come in and hang out, I then put them in breakout rooms for small group discussion (I encourage bringing tea/coffee and a cookie)
3. Psychoeducation about anxiety and stress management
4. Psychoeducation about maintaining work/life synergy during these times
5. Two minutes with Faculty support: I send a two minute audio clip on resilience skills such as finding happiness, good sleep habits, how to combat mental fatigue and gratitude.

Resources:

Articles to help teachers with concurrent teaching 

• 4 tips for optimizing-concurrent-classrooms
• How Do I Teach Online and In Person at the Same Time? Your Questions, Answered
• Concurrent-classroom-blended-learning-models
• Teaching online and face to face at the same
• Stress management for educators 
• Why teachers and principals quit now 

By Rachel Levitt Klein Dratch, Director of Educational Innovation at Prizmah: Center for Jewish Day Schools

Upside down. That’s how our world feels now. When so many of us left our school buildings in March, it is was Purim, the joyous holiday when all the bad was turned on its head and became good, when the hidden hand of G-d proved we would overcome and when the utter devastation that was possible became instead hope and rejuvenation. Strange context to leave the building when COVID-19 hit. 

And now as many of us are able to return to buildings, we are struck by a different Purim. This one is a day like Purim, known as Yom Kippurim (ke-Purim). This day, so full of intensity and urgency, we come to in trepidation and leave each year renewed, full of hope, knowing that we will be forgiven and there will be a future. What a strange, upside down way to frame the year- on the one hand, we go from insecurity in our future in the Purim story, to trust in G-d’s presence on Yom Kippur, from fear to hope. And on the other hand, we go from physical connection, sharing meals, rejoicing together, costumes, noise and fun of Purim, to a solemn day of fasting and prayer, alone in our togetherness, and fearful about what the year ahead holds for us, on Yom Kippur. 

This frame of Purim then and now seems, in so many ways, to be a perfect frame for this time. A time of confusing opposites, a time of deepest clarity about what matters, a time of profound connection and intense loneliness, a time of confusion, a time of “venahafoch hu,” when everything has been turned upside down. And now, as we enter the Sukkot holiday, the theme is so perfect it is almost comical: we are “back in session” and yet not totally at home, we are literally in temporary booths, and though we are back in our school dwellings, we all feel the fragility of our plans and yearn for the stability and strength that being inside a strong building gives us. We are together, and yet apart. We are living in between, between normal and not, between what was and what will be. We are very much in the present and also holding onto what was and hopeful and perhaps fearful for what will be.

At Prizmah, we have been honored to support educational leaders navigate this strange period, and in particular, we rejoice that the topics of mental health and social-emotional learning have now become not only socially acceptable but urgently prominent in all educational discussions. From pedagogy and curriculum and schedule design to buses, remote learning access and policy, mental health has now assumed its proper place as an essential aspect of our educational thinking, design and experience. This “upside down” of this time has enabled us to serve others better and save lives. 

Last year, when we partnered with Yeshiva University’s Azrieli School and launched the first cohort of school counselors, we hoped for a small group that might meet once or twice a month virtually (this was before we had all become adept at Zoom, remember?). And we were thrilled to welcome 17 counselors from all over North America. Our group became close, despite the virtual connection, and it soon became a robust team of colleagues and friends who shared resources, ups and downs, ideas, reflections and support. Often, we would end a call together knowing that lives were literally changed and helped due to the collaboration that went on during these times. Whether during the virtual meetings or through the “Reshet” (peer to peer professional development community), counselors, guided by Dr. Rona Novick and me, created programs, developed proposals and collaborated to enrich their practice beyond what we had ever hoped to imagine.

When COVID-19 hit, and we saw that the group asked for weekly meetings, we developed a program for administrators and counselors to learn about social-emotional and trauma-informed teaching to prepare the faculty to return to school in the fall of 2020. We had planned for 30, knowing that it would be difficult for people to find the time to invest and that because we required both an administrator and a counselor, we were making the pool of schools that would commit to joining even smaller. It was important to us to invest in a team approach, as that is the most effective way to impact school culture. 

We ended up having to close the program at 120 participants from over 55 schools across North America, with schools representing all age groups, all denominations and approaches. It was amazing to see this group of people together. Over three days, participants experienced programming they could use in their staff training and with students, had workshops with experts in the field and broke into discussion groups so that connections with other school leaders could be made and maintained beyond our time together. The feedback from this experience was overwhelmingly positive, and most of all, people were grateful for the opportunity.

Since the summer, Prizmah has opened a new Reshet for all day school counselors. (join here.) In addition, we have launched our second school counselor cohort, and this year we are proud to have 37 school counselors from across North America in our closed group. We continue to share resources and leadership thinking in this area across all of our communication and are planning to bring leading speakers on this topic for the field. In particular, we are working to support heads of school, principals and educational leaders in their work of supporting their school communities.

Our educational leaders have embraced this new normal and are developing new habits around self-awareness and self-care; they have deepened their skills to notice, support and address issues of mental health in themselves, their staff, students and parents. Leading by example, many of the heads of school and principals have attended extra professional development training programs specifically designed to teach these skills and so much more. Understanding that ongoing support is what will make learning and growth possible, school leaders have taken steps to include social emotional learning in all aspects of curriculum and teacher training. 

And yet, there is also the need to mourn for what was. Many heads of school have shared with me that they miss the principal that they used to be able to be. “Now,” explains one head of school, “I need to say ‘no’ often, to send students home with symptoms, to insist on masks, when I want to be the leader who is all about the warm welcome and not about the thermometer at the door.” This swift change in how we must function in order to keep the doors open has changed how our educational leaders must interact with the school community and has created even greater challenges. Yet another upside down of roles created by these circumstances.

For our students and teachers and parents, roles have become totally upside down, with parents serving as assistant teachers, students taking greater responsibility for their work and teachers having to create classrooms that extend way beyond four walls and previous strict time limits. Check-ins that teachers and students used to have are now either remote or in person but with masks and distancing. Navigating authentic connection and creating the space to be available to learn is now exponentially more challenging. There are new skills we have acquired and old skills we have developed even more. This is a positive gift of this upside down time in that it is preparing us for the education of the future. As futurist Alvin Toffler said, “The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn.” 

What we know is that fostering and supporting positive mental health is one of the key objectives of our schools, for the students, staff and families. This key understanding has the power to not only save and enhance lives in the future, but to alter the trajectory of Jewish day schools forever. If we harness this understanding and build our next steps based upon social-emotional best practices, then all of our students and families will benefit. The question that we must address is the same one we faced after Purim and the same one we face after Yom Kippur: After all of this shake up and upside down, are we different? Can we maintain what we have learned? Will we be able to carry with us the lessons of this time? While we are in the in-between time, what can we learn and how can we harness these lessons moving forward? 

As we enter the temporary sukkah, shelter, knowing it is really a reminder of our own control, how will we choose to see our world, relate to others and ourselves? Just as we look to see the stars above, invite ushpizin, spiritual guests, even when we cannot have physical guests, so too this year, we look ahead and above and leverage what we are learning so that we are stronger.

By Rachel Levitt Klein Dratch, Director of Educational Innovation at Prizmah: Center for Jewish Day Schools

By Dr. Rona Novick, Dr. Oshra Cohen and Dr. Bin Goldman

They calm frazzled nerves, prevent high risk behavior, teach mindfulness, connect with parents, support teachers’ efforts, help those in pain, build students’ social muscles, and so much more. School counselors hold a position with no clear job description, resulting in limitless responsibility and potential. What is clear is how much they contribute to the social-emotional programming in schools, and how in today’s strange world, this is more important than ever.

Last year, Prizmah, working with the Azrieli Graduate School of Jewish Education at Yeshiva University, recognized the need to provide professional development and support to a cadre of committed school counselors. In the first cohort, 17 school counselors met twice monthly for a combination of presentations from mental health and counseling experts and discussions of their own cases. The program was so successful it has been expanded this year, with 37 participating in two cohorts (19 elementary and 18 secondary school professionals). Reflecting on the learning with this impressive group of professionals, we can’t help but think of the words of Rabbi Hanina, “I have learned much from my teachers and even more from my friends, but from my students I have learned more than from all of them” (Taanit 7a).

One thing we consistently learned from the participating school counselors was how broad and amorphous their job was, how they served multiple constituencies and struggled to navigate somewhat fuzzy boundaries. Then COVID hit. They had to quickly adapt and adjust their therapeutic approaches to the online environment. They provided hours of support and care through crisis, trauma and some very painful losses.

Their responses to situations and discussion prompts during the yearlong program tell the story of their remarkable and varied service. Below, you will read their thoughts in their own words, shared straight from the heart, unedited. We have omitted their names, in most cases, to protect their work and the settings in which they serve.

Pre-COVID
When we began our work, the primary challenge reported by our guidance cohort were issues of setting work/life boundaries. Responsibility to multiple constituencies often created a sense of tension. Living and working in the same community often required a delicate balance of empathy and kindness on one hand and boundaries and limits on the other. 

We work in our communities and our friends/neighbors are also the teachers/parents of who we work with—so careful, so hard at times; and how we make boundaries to help create a separation and safe place—who are we helping—how much can we influence? who is our "client"?

From drug testing and vaping to reporting abuse, our counselors shared policies, effective approaches and language. Finding ways to be consistent and fair, while also meeting the needs of each student where he or she is, is part of the struggle. Figuring out how to help our students, families and teachers, what support systems and education are needed, is key.

No system is perfect. What works with this one is that kids generally do not lie when admin says they need to be tested. And a number of kids have gotten some much-needed help.

A challenge is that most likely there are kids using (especially vaping, even on campus) who are never caught because we don’t randomly test or test everyone. Also, kids can easily use on campus but lie and say it was only off campus. Another challenge we’ve run into is that for kids who do come forward about a vaping addiction, there aren’t too many programs or resources out there for people under 18. Additionally, I have heard buzz about kids cheating on the urine tests for nicotine.

In planning to teach healthy relationships and prevent bullying, counselors shared resources and tips and asked for support in specific cases. They wondered what tools to give their faculty to model the kind of social-emotional health we seek to build in our students.
I want to build teachers up at the beginning so they can be more open to being receptive and empathetic.

Shutdown
The challenges of school counselors became more complex and demanding as schools moved to online learning. It was clear that psychological needs grew exponentially, but connecting to students, colleagues and parents virtually presented a new set of complications. 

I’m working to get devices and Internet to some of our more challenged students/families; supplies, games, and school work; helping teachers address student behaviors in the virtual classrooms.

I went into every shiur this week and talked to the boys about the Tips to Staying Healthy. We're sending out an email to the whole school reminding them that our "offices" are still open .

For some, the shift to virtual school was difficult to bridge and required a reframing of their role: 

I'm trying to remind people that I'm here if they want to talk, and also remind myself that they will ask when they are ready and I can only do my best to make sure they know I'm available.

Despite the distancing and separation, we remain part of a community. I want you to know that I am here for you! I would like to continue meeting weekly via zoom. I would love to hear from you!

Loss
For many school counselors, managing loss is in the job description. The extent and variety of losses that COVID-19 presented challenged everyone, and counselors used the support of their network to access resources and keep going. As they supported others, counselors had to manage their own emotional reactions, their own feelings of uncertainty and their own sense of loss. 

We spent our weekly guidance time talking about the upcoming chag, processing the differences. This year compared to what was supposed to be. One boy never made Pesach at home, never had 2 sedarim, let alone a 3 day yontif. Validating that it's different was very helpful. 

Today a student at our school lost a great-grandmother. Another student lost a great-grandmother, and a few hours later his great-grandfather (from a different side) also passed away. What a day. Hope to hear of no more losses.

A student in my school just lost his father to the virus. It was very sudden. The boys are on various emotional/cognitive levels. It was good to be prepared and to be able to reassure the staff that this (reaction) is NORMAL.

The desire to have knowledge of an ending date to help us feel some control is so strong, but we don't and we can't—at least not now. I hear from so many of you feeling so divided—helping students, parents, teachers, your own kids and trying to maintain that calm, secure presentation, and feeling inside so insecure and anxious. But if we really do stay in the moment and take one at a time, helping one person at a time, one task at a time, one day at a time, it's not quite as hard—at least that has been really helpful for me.

Reboot
As schools began their academic year in various in-person, on-line or hybrid formats, school counselors focused on how to support all constituencies, recognizing the challenge of transition. Recognizing the importance of supporting faculty, Malka Landman (counselor, Torah Day School of Atlanta) wrote to her teaching colleagues:

Your hard work, creativity and passion in connecting with your students and helping them learn material is seen and appreciated. Your understandable frustration in trying to maintain a sense of normalcy in a most unusual time and in perhaps not fulfilling the high standards you set for yourself is also sensed. The smiles, enjoyment and learning you are causing is in some ways moving mountains. Please know that you are making a difference, that you are causing growth and connection. Thank you for all you are doing in and out of school to help your students. Care for yourself. Please take the time to breathe/meditate, relax in some form and ensure that you are not depleted.

In addition to supporting parents and students, faculty support has now become an important component in the work counselors do.
I'm having a ton of one-on-one conversations with faculty members and office workers about their own anxieties, pressures and responsibilities.
We will host more teach cafe events and focus on their wellbeing. Hoping to take small nuggets from positive psychology and make short videos on self-care/teacher wellness.

I know that it's also been a hard two weeks with our masks and new protocols. It is exhausting. We need adult human contact with people who are going through a similar situation. I am starting weekly staff shmoozes. Working on reaching out to parents to make little videos and send letters to their teachers to support morale.

Looking for strategies to help students who have been isolated for months and enjoyed the quiet and alone time, now struggling to reacclimate to the social environment of school.

Conclusions
These counselors’ words tell the story of a year that challenged them to meet unprecedented needs. Behind the words, however, is evidence of their commitment to provide guidance and social-emotional support across their school communities, not only in times of crisis, but always. 

A challenge brings with it both hardship but also opportunity. When asked to identify what opportunities this situation presents, Rabbi Dov Rosenbluth, director of guidance at YULA boys, suggested that school counselors’ heightened involvement can contribute to the removal of the stigma of seeking help, which can change the trajectory of mental health in our communities for the next generation. Another school counselor, drawing upon Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen’s anecdote of a patient who, having undergone major surgery, was able to take future procedures in stride, remarked,

I hope in a similar way this generation will be able to have more inner strength to handle future challenges, looking back at what they successfully endured. I hope that response will be the way teachers handle future challenges: "I taught during COVID, I can teach anyone anything."

School counselors have handled anything and everything this past year. They stand ready, willing, and—with the support of their knowledge, commitment and each other—infinitely able, to continue to serve our schools in myriad ways.

Rona Novick, PhD is the Dean of the Azrieli Graduate School of Jewish Education and Administration and holds the Raine and Stanley Silverstein Chair in Professional Ethics and Values. In addition to her Yeshiva University appointment, Dr. Novick serves
as the Co-Educational Director of the Hidden Sparks program which provides consultation and professional development to day schools and Yeshivas. Dr. Novick She developed the Alliance for School Mental Health at North-Shore Long Island Jewish Medical Center and served as its director, where she authored the BRAVE bully prevention program for schools. Dr. Novick has extensive clinical and research expertise in behavior management and. She has delivered numerous presentations at national and international conferences, focusing on her research interests in. Along with many scholarly publications on child behavior therapy, bullying and trauma, special education, Jewish education, parenting and parent-school partnerships, child anxiety disorders, positive psychology and social emotional learning, she is the author of a book for parents: Helping Your Child Make Friends, and editor of the book series Kids Don’t Come With Instruction Manuals.

Dr. Oshra Cohen earned her B.A in Psychology at McGill University and her M.A and  Ph.D in Clinical Psychology, Health Emphasis from Ferkauf Graduate School of Psychology at Yeshiva University. She is the Director of Cognitive Behavioral Health Psychology, LLC, a private practice which specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Additionally, she serves as the Faculty Support and Efficacy Consultant at Ma'ayanot Yeshiva High School for Girls in addition to being part of the guidance department.

Dr. Bin Goldman is the Director of Psychology and Guidance at the Rosenbaum Yeshiva of North Jersey and clinical facilitator of Prizmah's second guidance cohort. Dr. Goldman has taught psychology at Rutgers University and served as Visiting Scholar/Clinical Psychology Supervisor at Columbia University. He is in private practice in Teaneck, NJ and the Upper West Side of Manhattan. 

There has been much focus in the past weeks on the importance of SEL, social emotional learning, to ease our children back to school and to support them during this pandemic. Many schools that did not previously have an SEL program in place are implementing one this year. While we have had a weekly advisory program focusing on social emotional skills in my school for some time, this year I would maintain that there is a different SEL that we who are working in yeshivot need to relay to our students. Our students need more of an additional SEL during the months of this pandemic: Spiritual Emunah Learning. 

What are “spiritual emunah skills” and how do we teach them? In Slovie Jungreis Wolf’s book Raising a Child with Soul, she focuses on how raising a child with spirituality is good parenting. Often parents spend more time focusing on the best they can in nutrition, cultural experiences and education instead of excellence in spirituality.

Wolf stresses the importance of building a mikdash me’at—a miniature sanctuary, where G-d dwells—in our homes. We need to do the same in our schools. It is not about bringing your child to shul. (Since we were separated from our shuls for months, and many still are, we cannot rely on shul to provide that “mikdash.”) Nor is it about having a shul in one’s home or school. Rather, it is about “embracing holiness in our daily moments of living.” Children who do grow up in a home or school where G-d is constantly being acknowledged become spiritual. This awareness of G-d exists in good times and bad. During challenging times, this child sees all of life’s challenges through a spiritual eye. 

Emunah has tremendous power to combat the fear, anxiety and uncertainty that we have faced these past months. In a 2015 review by Duke University of 3,000 research studies, 79% showed a link between religion and psychological wellbeing: “Positive religious coping consists of strategies that reflect a trusting relationship with God and a sense of spiritual connectedness to others, including reframing stressful events as reflecting the work of a benevolent God and seeing oneself as collaborating with God to solve problems, among others.” Studies indicate that people who believe in and pray to G-d actually get healthier more quickly, can tolerate pain and difficulty better, have more positive attitudes, are more persistent, and are even happier. Higher levels of “religiosity” are overall associated with better mental health.

Raising children with G-d in their daily lives (emunah) allows them to face life with strength and faith. Wolf tells a story:

[One Sunday morning at Chelsea Piers, my] kids decided to attempt the rock-climbing wall. My then four- year-old son, Akiva, insisted on joining his older siblings as they began their ascent. I watched him harnessed in ropes, as his little figure grew smaller with each step. My heart beat a little quicker until he finally made it down. I ran over to him and hugged him hard. “Akiva, weren’t you scared?” I asked. He looked at me for a second and then replied simply, “No, Mommy. Of course I wasn’t afraid. Why should I be? I was connected!” It dawned on me that this small child had just uncovered a significant truth. You can go through an array of life experiences, some quite difficult to bear; however, if you feel connected to a higher source, you never have to be afraid.
     
As educators, how do we create this mikdash me’at? In partnership with their parents, we need to help our children to develop personal relationships with G-d and be cognizant of G-d in every moment. 

Emunah is good for our children not only as Jews, it is good for them emotionally as well. It changes one’s whole perspective on life. I often encourage parents of teens to learn the book Living Emunah For Teens by Rabbi David Ashear with their children. The book presents small scenarios like getting a C on a Chumash test or an insult from a friend; if one recalls that G-d is running the show, and it is all part of G-d’s plan, then our worries diminish. Ashear writes in the introduction,

How do you face the challenges of school, family relationships, and friendships? How do you deal with disappointments that cloud every life—the summer job you wanted but didn’t get, the must-have item you can’t have, the learning that just won’t penetrate? A foundation of emunah will change the way you view your challenges.
     
Rabbi Ashear encourages parents and educators to help their children imagine that they received encouraging notes from G-d whenever they faced a challenge. In our advisory class, we present the students with a scenario of rejection or disappointment, and we ask them,“What kind of words of encouragement do you think a person can imagine G-d is saying to him/her at a moment like this that can help him overcome his upset?”

In his shiur on “Bitachon: Trust in G-d,” Rav Aharon Lichtenstein discusses two types. The first type is the optimistic bitachon, where people are “saturated with faith and hopeful expectations for the future.” This type inspires the believer that with Hashem he can win every “battle” and “everything will be alright.” This belief comes easily when things are hopeful and moving in the right direction. 
The second approach does not “attempt to scatter the clouds of misfortune, try to raise expectations, or strive to whitewash a dark future. It does not claim ‘it will work out for the best.’” Instead, it is the belief that even if things do not turn out the way I want and the outcome is negative, I will always remain connected to Hashem and rely on G-d. This type of emunah may be similar to what those of us are going through right now while there is no cure for this pandemic in sight, but we still believe and know Hashem will be there for us.

Lichtenstein maintains that we have done a good job in our communities and homes in raising our children to have the first type of bitachon, but we “neglected to teach the values of loving trust, of cleaving to G-d without hesitation under all circumstances. We did not fortify our children or ourselves concerning the possibility of crises, conveying that the song to G-d must be sung even on the rivers of Babylon… We taught our students about the ‘human comedy’ but never about the ‘human tragedy.’” We need to do a better job in raising our children to trust in Hashem during tragic times. 

We can all relate to this type of bitachon during this uncertain time of COVID-19, when things may not be better soon. We realize how essential it is to weather these times. Sometimes we need to teach our children to say, “It will be difficult. No miracle may be waiting around the corner. But Hashem is always with me and He will support me no matter how hard it gets.” And, our relationship with Hashem is like all relationships. There are times when we feel G-d close by and times of distance. But G-d is always there. 

In her article “Helping Children Develop Faith,” Sarah Radcliffe stresses the importance of allowing children to express their anxieties. We should never shut them down by saying things like “Don’t worry—G-d always protects us.” Statements like that “should not be offered until you have helped the child address his or her frightened feelings. Fear causes cortical inhibition (a diminished capacity to process and utilize cognitive information), so providing education while the child is in a frightened state is usually useless. Moreover, trying to do so may be perceived as uncaring, which can harm the parent-child relationship.” 

Radcliffe speaks about the importance of accepting their fears and asking them to tell you about it, so that they feel you are there for them. We then need to offer strategies to help them relax and calm their fears. Once they are more relaxed, that is the time to offer statements about belief in G-d, tell stories about how G-d has helped you in the past, or even help them recognize the hand of G-d in their own lives. She says, “Always help your child turn off fight-or-flight chemistry before talking about Divine Providence!”

I particularly appreciate how Radcliffe takes mental health strategies and incorporates belief in them. She calls them “fear busters”; here are her suggestions:

A child who worries is an expert at (negative) visualization. After the child has described his scary image of unfolding events, and you have accepted the worry with open arms, ask him to close his eyes and imagine everything working out just fine. Ask him to describe the positive events in his new “movie” to you. Ask him how the positive image makes him feel. Instruct him to repeat the exercise as often as possible and particularly when the scary story enters his mind.

Another use of this visualization skill is to imagine G-d’s divine protection and assistance in various ways. For example, “see” G-d’s messengers, His protective angels, surrounding the bed when drifting off to sleep.

Teach your child to use the breath to help calm the heart, which will then calm the brain, which, in turn, will release calming hormones to every cell of the body. There are numerous ways to breathe for this purpose, but a simple one is to breathe in normally and then breathe out slowly, thinking the number “one” on the out breath. To be effective in times of need, this breathing pattern needs to be practiced for one minute daily, forever. An ideal time for practice is at bedtime when falling asleep or in the morning just after awakening.
The most powerful way to help children accept the reality of G-d’s kindness is through your positive modeling. When you sound like you believe it, your kids will too!

While guidance staff who work in yeshivot have spent well-invested time in developing their Social Emotional Learning program, I believe that there is now an imperative to turn our focus to Spiritual Emunah Learning. This spiritual SEL can assist our children in developing resilience to cope with difficulties they face now, during COVID, and for the rest of their lives.

Whether in person, via zoom, or some hybrid of both, Jewish day schools and yeshivas have, over the last month or so, started the new semester. We experienced some familiar “first day” rituals—new backpacks, anxious parents—and we also tried out new routines for the first time—temperature checks and socially distanced classrooms. It was a first day like none before.

The machzor reminds us that Rosh Hashanah marks the beginning of Creation.  

זה היום תחילת מעשיך זכרון ליום ראשון

“This day is the beginning of your works, a commemoration of the first day.”

As we begin our year and we take on both new and familiar ma’asim/works (or actions), we have all the other previous beginnings in our memory.  

We reached this first day due to the incredibly hard work of so many. From IT specialists to security to maintenance to faculty and administrators, school staff literally reimagined and created (or recreated) our schools to thrive in a whole new reality. For all involved in getting schools ready, the work seemed miraculous. The “beginning of your works,” which we see in the smiling and focused faces of children on countless school videos, has already made a deep impression. 

And in those videos, on those screens, we sense that these “beginnings” are actually evocative and familiar, not so different after all from previous years.  Rich teacher-student interactions, the joy of children interacting with their fellow students, the power of the larger school community pulling together—these are all core elements of a Jewish day school education. Our present is so very different from our past, and yet there is a comfort in recognizing well-established rituals and milestones. The paradigmatic “first day” is very much present.

Rosh Hashanah this year also feels very different. I suspect I am not alone in feeling somewhat bereft without our traditional large family meals and regular tefilot filled with song. We are missing the usual ma’asim that launch these High Holy Days.  

The liturgy, in connecting the new year to Creation, opens up space for us to remember and appreciate from whence we came and why we are here. Today is the beginning of our works, and yet it is also a commemoration of the first day that, by definition, cannot be repeated.  Once created, the world exists and cannot actually be recreated. The story of the flood as a one time “do-over” makes that message clear. We may long for Eden, but we live outside the Garden, and each year we are compelled to begin anew nonetheless.

The year ahead may be harder than we even currently anticipate and will surely be filled with uncertainty. Some schools are already encountering their first positive cases, and we send out our deepest prayers for strength and resilience, as well as refuah shleimah to those who are unwell. What brings me hope—and what I hope will inspire you as well—is the power of starting these first days together and drawing from our communal memory.  The past serves as an inspiration and motivation as we take the first steps in our new ma’asim/actions for the year to come. This is the day—zeh hayom—where we start our work anew, overcome the unknowns and obstacles ahead, inspired by the past as we face new realities, together.  

Shana tova and best wishes for a happy, healthy, and learning-filled year,
Paul Bernstein
CEO

In a recent EJP article, mom and Jewish community leader Carrie Bornstein expressed her concern about the fact that, in her view, mental health was absent from the important conversations happening about the COVID-19 crisis, particularly with regard to synagogues, camps and schools. She noted that while all of the restrictions and precautions are important, the conversation around mental health is equally as important and should not be forgotten. 

We at Prizmah want to acknowledge Carrie’s painful experience with her own children not being able to attend the schools she dreamed they would. The feelings of rejection and loss that come with a lack of inclusion for Carrie’s and others’ children, combined with the stigma and loneliness that surrounds so many struggling with mental health, is heartbreaking. Carrie: we hear you, we see you, and we couldn’t agree more about the priority that mental health needs to take in our communities and our schools. 

Through the thousands of conversations that our team at Prizmah conducts with schools and field leaders, we are privy to the very hopeful information that mental health, social and emotional wellness, individualized care for each child, and inclusion for all are at the very core of their missions. These issues are top of mind for administrators, educators, parents and students, and have been for quite some time. At Prizmah, our work to train school counselors began before COVID-19. In the fall of 2019, Prizmah and Yeshiva University partnered to bring mental health training to almost 20 school counselors in a months-long program where counselors learned from experts and peers. 

Over the course of the last six months, as the conversation around mental health in particular has grown increasingly urgent, schools have continued to face the challenge head on to provide support to the whole child and to meet each learner where he or she is—academically, emotionally, and with their set of mental health and support needs. What had been a steadily growing concern prior to COVID-19 over how schools can appropriately support students and families suffering from mental illness quickly became overwhelming anxiety about a potentially emerging crisis in the spring. 

Administrators and educators wanted guidance, they sought the support and advice of experts as well as their peers, and they needed access to training and resources to help them support their students and faculty. Beginning in the early spring, during weekly check-ins, heads of school and other administrators expressed grave concern over the effects of too much screen time, isolation, lack of emotional support, lack of routine, and more. 

We created a framework to share resources and guidance to support students and teachers: Trends Q & A: Mental Health Issues Today and Moving Forward. Prizmah also fielded a pulse survey in May, to which 110 schools responded, to gauge trends in day schools. Mental health and social and emotional wellness consistently appeared among the top priorities among administrative teams for professional development training.

Under the leadership of Rachel Levitt Klein Dratch, who as director of educational innovation manages Prizmah’s school counselor training work, Prizmah offered a three-day, time-intensive mental health training in July for school counselors and administrators. The commitment was significant: school counselors were required to bring at least one administrator from their school in order to ensure that this was a priority for the whole school, and teams were tasked with building programming for their schools to improve the way they approach mental health and social and emotional wellness in a post-COVID-19 world. 

120 individuals from over 50 schools attended, eager to learn and grow in the area of mental health and helping students and families feel supported by their schools. They, along with other school counselors in day schools and yeshivas, have joined Prizmah’s School Counselor Reshet Community, where counselors can have safe conversations with peers and ask questions of each other and of experts in the field to advance their work.  

When it comes to the mental health of day school students—our Jewish future—there will never be enough we can do to support their safety and well-being. At Prizmah, we are lucky to witness the significant efforts our schools are making to meet every learner’s needs, no matter the challenge. Indeed, this includes not only students, but also faculty members who may also be struggling with mental health challenges. Other Jewish community organizations, such as Torah Umesorah and many community federations and foundations, support the work of increasing acceptance, understanding, and inclusion of families and faculty struggling with mental health. 

The truth is, just like the rest of us, our schools are constantly growing and learning. They are taking this opportunity now, as they have historically done for each new challenge the North American Jewish community has faced, to make real, positive change necessary to confront new realities. They are using this critical time to reflect on how they might do even more, even better. They are committed to ensuring a thriving Jewish day school community for years to come, and they are investing significant resources to increasing their knowledge and development in order to be the heroes that our Jewish students need. 

Jewish day schools and yeshivas continue to work to reduce the stigma around mental illness, to make their classrooms and their communities more inclusive, and to support the large and growing number of students, faculty and administrators who struggle with mental health concerns. 

There should be no fear of stating the truth: We can and we must do more. The good news is, we will. 

By Lise Applebaum

It all started with the fires. Last fall, Los Angeles was ablaze with fires spreading perilously close to Milken Community School. We had lived versions of this scenario before; however, this time it was different. The fires, just a hillside away, were difficult to contain and took several weeks to abate. During this time, we felt the urgency of developing a remote learning plan.

When we were permitted to return to campus again, Dr. Sarah Shulkind, our brand-new head of school, and I made preparations for remote learning a priority. After all, we knew that fires would eventually come again, if not later in the season, perhaps the following year. Over the next several months, our school’s professional leadership, in partnership with the board, invested in teacher training for remote learning. We also made sure that all of our students had access to the tools necessary for distance learning. We were ready for the next time remote learning would be required, or so we thought. Then came COVID-19.

At the beginning of March, the mayor of Los Angeles ordered our city shut. Overnight, we had to pivot from in-person classes to remote learning. At first glance, because we had prepared for remote learning at the beginning of the year, this transition was fairly seamless. Soon, though, we realized that the educational product we now needed to offer for many weeks and what we didn’t realize at the time, many, many months, needed to be enhanced if we were to truly provide an excellent education for our students. As we shifted from the immediate to the strategic, the hard work really began.

When school first closed, I don’t think any of us realized what a monumental challenge preparing for education in times of a pandemic represented. As a school, we have always prided ourselves on being ready for unexpected challenges, and in the case of COVID that meant being ready for three separate, multilayered scenarios: 1) fully remote, 2) hybrid learning and 3) in-person learning. There were so many questions we had, and so many we didn’t even know to ask.

Sarah and I assembled a COVID-19 Advisory Committee, composed of experts in the field of medicine, health and municipal and state policy. We knew that the success of our response to COVID was based on the strength of partnerships among professional staff, partnerships with outside experts and the strong partnership of the board with our head. These partnerships allowed us to formulate answers to our questions and to revise our response to those questions as circumstances change, which is the one constant of COVID.

With so much uncertainty, of the utmost importance is my recognition, and that of our board, that our head is the professional charged with leading our school. We fully trust in her ability to do so even during a pandemic. My goal is to be her strategic partner; we talk almost daily to share ideas with one other, share resources, brainstorm and problem-solve.

Sarah and I remain calm and resolute in our desire to steer our institution through this challenge. We model that behavior for our students, parents, lay leaders and professional staff each day. This allows us to focus our work together on strategic priorities—first and foremost, the educational product we want to provide to our students. Our next focus is on ways to help our families, especially those negatively impacted financially or emotionally by COVID.

This past spring, our head and leadership team, along with our executive board and finance committee, spent many hours studying the school’s needs in this new educational paradigm. We developed our response to ensure that we educated our students in the best way possible and that our students could remain at Milken even if their families were under financial strain. We restructured our school in anticipation of these changes, which produced cost-savings and allowed us to invest in technology and distance-learning specialists. We also were fortunate to have donors who recognized this critical moment and generously supported the school.

Even before COVID, Jewish day schools faced substantial challenges; in many ways, COVID was an accelerant to some of the changes that needed to occur. Without denying the seriousness of the many challenges ahead, we can recognize that COVID has created opportunities for us to think differently, both about how education can look in the 21st century and also who we can reach using remote learning. While we all yearn for the start of a normal school year, I am grateful for the lessons I have learned during this time: the importance of flexibility and agility, the immeasurable value of a strong relationship with your head and board, and the humility of recognizing there is so much more to learn.

Lise Applebaum is the chair of the Board of Trustees at the Milken Community School in Los Angeles.

By Deborah Shapira

As a board member of a Jewish day school as well as other Jewish nonprofits, I dream of a world in which board members feel as capable, knowledgeable and respected in their board work as they do in their professional lives. The Prizmah study is an important resource that will help make this vision a reality for day school boards. 

By naming the challenges and opportunities of day school boards, this study validates the experiences that a board chair may face. While every school and board is unique, there are certain issues that many boards face in common. This study powerfully articulates our challenges and places them in a context that board chairs will find useful. 

Even more importantly, the study enables board chairs to begin grappling with changes that are warranted, providing a potential road map of available opportunities for improvement. By outlining specific issues that might be addressed, it will help board chairs prioritize the most immediate needs of their specific boards. 

I hope you will use this study as a jumping-off point for addressing the problems faced by your boards. Consider engaging your governance committee chair (or if your board doesn’t have a governance committee, any governance-minded fellow board member) to discuss the challenges and opportunities outlined in the study. Your discussion will likely reveal one or two top priorities, areas that seem to be the greatest obstacles to your board’s success, allowing you to begin taking steps to address and manage them. Knowing where to start this work can be daunting, but this study serves as a first step, helping to launch your efforts to make your board work as effectively as possible. 

Board chairs, take heart! There is much to be done, but this study demonstrates that you are not alone. There are a body of evidence and network of support that will help you bring your board closer to its full potential, in turn helping your day school thrive.

Wishing you much success and satisfaction in your holy work.

Deborah Shapira is a certified facilitator and educator living in New York City.  She consults with non-profit organizations and boards of directors, crafting processes to guide them towards successfully meeting their organizational needs and goals. Deborah serves on the Board of Directors of Prizmah, where she is Chair of the Governance Committee, as well as the Board of Trustees of SAR Academy and High School, where she is the immediate past chair of the SAR Board of Education. Deborah also serves as Chair of the Board of Directors of Pardes North America. Deborah and her husband, Barry Stern, live in Riverdale, New York, where their children are enrolled at SAR High School and the Leffell School.

By Jonathan Weiss

In July, I had the fortune of assuming the role of President of the Board for Hillel Torah, a Modern Orthodox Day School in Skokie, IL. Even in “normal” years, I imagine there’s a steep learning curve at the outset of taking on this responsibility. Of course, this is far from a normal year. Despite preparing myself for the challenge of navigating the intricacies of process, discussion, and decisions amidst a pandemic, the experience itself has been illuminating, portending to what the next couple of years in the role might entail.

Some early lessons learned:

• Empathize. Parents, administration, teachers and students are all grappling with the uncertainty of school’s reopening. Opinions range from “We absolutely must be in-person with minimal modifications” to “It’s irresponsible to do anything other than 100% virtual learning.” Emotions are running hot. More than anything, people just want to be heard. Listening, and I mean truly listening—not telling people how they should feel—is the recipe for success.
• Frame the situation. We often think of our decisions as being choices between right and wrong, or good vs. bad. But when it comes to how best to educate our children during a pandemic, our options are between bad and less bad. Once we acknowledge that no matter how we go about this it’ll be far from ideal, we can then stop talking past each other and figure out how collectively to make it work.
• Prepare to adapt. Safe, responsible reopening for in-person learning amidst a pandemic requires a detailed plan with myriad protocols and contingencies. Yet information and guidelines may constantly change on us, and no matter how carefully we prepare, we will inevitably learn new things as we execute the plan day in and day out. We must maintain flexibility and a willingness to adapt, similar to how we’ve had to do so over the last half year since this virus entered our lives.
• First debate, then communicate as one. Boards are comprised of a range of perspectives and people, often Type A personalities who are confident and outspoken. This can be challenging, but is also healthy and necessary. Embrace the debate, seek a diversity of viewpoints, and help bridge gaps when possible. Once reaching a consensus, it’s critical for the whole board to speak in a collective and cohesive voice, instilling confidence in the community.
• Don’t lose sight of longer-term strategies. It would be easy to press the “hold” button on longer-term strategic ventures, with so much time and energy being spent on COVID-19 plans. Nobody would fault us for it. But the world doesn’t halt due to this virus. It’s important to maintain “zoom-in, zoom-out” perspective whereby we simultaneously deal with the here-and-now around the pandemic while still progressing against our goals of the future.

In short, the same skills and strategies used to govern our schools during normal times can stand us well more than ever during our COVID year.

Jonathan currently presides over the Board of Directors at Hillel Torah, a preschool through 8th grade Jewish day school in Skokie, IL. Having served on the Board for 4 years prior, he began his role as President this past July. Professionally, Jonathan works in consumer insights and consulting for a range of companies and industries.